The Truth About Naoki Irie
by thekerbalflyer
Summary: In the aftermath of a huge argument Kotoko comes home and finds Naoki's diary. Tempted, she decides to read through it to find out the truth about her husband. What she will find out will shock her to no end. Takes place after the last episode. Text and rating might be changed.


**I don't know what possessed me to write this. I think this was partially inspired by the INK story Ignorance by fortunecookie22. I just thought it was great. To that author: If you read this don't kill me I'm not trying to steal! Please review. I don't own this anime blah blah blah. Enjoy.**

Kotoko walked into the house, not even caring if he was there or not. She's been trying to avoid him since the night before. Ever since "it" happened.

The night before:

"_Kotoko listen to me for once." Naoki said._

"_Why should I? You don't care for me." She said back._

"_For the last time, that's not true! I love you!"_

"_You're such a bullshit liar!"_

"_You're so thickheaded you don't even know what you're talking about!"_

"_The hell I am. I know all what everyone's been saying and-"_

"_THEY'RE ALL LIARS! IT'S ALL A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT! WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT YOU FUCKING BAKA?"_

"_THE STUPID, IGNORANT, ARROGANT, ABBUSIVE, CHEATING BAKA THAT IS SUPPOSEDLY MY HUSBAND! I SHOULD'VE MARRIED KIN-CHAN AND LEFT YOU TO ROT, YOU STUPID, ARROGANT, FUCK!"_

_*SLAP!*_

_He finally hit his breaking point and smacked her across the face. She just knelt down on the floor and covered her cheek, tears forming in her eyes. She looked up to Naoki and saw a man who she didn't recognize as her husband and the loving father to their daughter. Instead she saw what looked like a man possessed, something she never saw before and was scaring her to no end. Before she could make a move Naoki grabbed his coat and walked out into the pouring rain leaving her speechless, confused, upset, and terrified._

_When the others came home they found her sobbing on the floor. They didn't need an explanation to know what happened. The whole story was there. He had been getting more belligerent for the past few weeks and now they know it now got physical._

Now:

Kotoko tried not to think about what happened last night, hell at this point she didn't care if she ever saw him again. The same couldn't really be said for the others. All day they tried to call him or their friends to see if anyone has seen him. So far he hasn't picked up, no one's seen him, in fact he didn't show up to work today which was too unusual for people to not notice.

Kotoko still didn't care, all she wanted was to do was sit down, eat dinner, relax, and forget about everything. Nobody was home, they were still out looking for Naoki, so it was even better. She finally makes her way to the couch and turns on the TV, only to notice a book on the table in front of her. She recognized it, it was Naoki's diary. Taking advantage of the opportunity, and not caring who sees, she grabs the diary and proceeds to read through it.

"Well let's see what the mighty Naoki Irie has written about me."

The several entries in the beginning talked about the usual stuff, work, family, friends, even their trip to Okinawa last year.

"Well he seems to use this daily."

One of the entries then caught her eye.

_Dear Diary:_

_Today was a very amazing, yet gruesome day at work. We had a lady who had heart transplant today. It was very stressful, I never dealt with an operation as complicated as this one. Luckily I had the other doctors and nurses making sure nothing went wrong. What amazed me the most however was Kotoko. It was her first time being involved in something like this and she was fantastic. She was calm, collected, and was there when I needed her. God I love her and I am lucky to have her, even though I don't really deserve her. I should take her out tonight. Just as an appreciation for what she did. You know I'll do just that._

_Naoki_

She remembered that night he took her to the best restaurant in town and they stayed the weekend at a nice hotel, it was a wonderful night. She couldn't believe what she just read. The fact that he said "love" gave her some form of closure, but the last few words concerned her. Why would he say he doesn't deserve her? It seemed a little unlike him. She flipped through the next few entries and read on. Strangely, this one was about her.

_Dear Diary:_

_I've just kept thinking about my wife today. I don't know what my life would be like without her in it. I'm glad she's in it. She may not be a genius but she's smart in her own way. She's pretty, she's funny, she's always full of life, and she is such a wonderful wife and a fantastic mother. Kotomi really looks up to her. It makes me happy to have her in my life._

She just smiled and read on. But what she read next was upsetting to her.

_The problem with her though is that I think she's with the wrong person. I may not know what my life would be like without her but recently I've been wondering what her life would be like without me. In my opinion I think she would be better off with someone else. Maybe some guy who will make her happy instead of someone like me who makes her life miserable. Maybe I'll figure it out soon._

_Naoki_

Kotoko couldn't believe what she was reading. "He really thinks that way about me?" She said. "I never imagined he thought of me like that." She flipped several more pages and just read on.

_Dear Diary:_

_I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like my life is just nothing but one big empty void of sadness. I don't know what to do. I can't go to my family with this. I don't want them to worry about me, especially Mother. I'm already enough of a burden on them as it is. I think they would be better off if I just left. Look at me. I'm not a fit son, husband, or dad. What have I done for them? I haven't helped them; I've only helped myself and my selfish needs! My parents shouldn't be happy for me, they should disown me. My little brother looks up to me? He should have a better idol. My wife and daughter, they deserve better. It's no wonder why I've been such a cold-blooded baka to Kotoko throughout the whole time I've known her. It wasn't because I didn't like her, I'm head over heels for her, it's because I know she doesn't deserve to be with me. I don't deserve to be loved by anyone._

_Naoki_

Tears welled up in her eyes. She couldn't believe what she was reading. Her husband, who, yelled and hit her the night before, who acted like a cold blooded baka throughout their whole relationship, had written this, a journal that showed a man descending into a deep depression. She just sat there looking at the book, wondering what else he wrote. She continued looking through the book to see if he really did those things she was told. She found nothing that was incriminating to him, just more entries about him talking about him being a loser, a lost cause, etc. In one of the entries he was talking about the rumors and how angry he was at the people who started them, some stupid jokers at work who were starting trouble. She then flipped to the last entry in the diary. The entry date was today. What she saw next horrified her.

_I hit her! My own wife! What kind of a person does that to his own wife? A low life that's who does it! I can't believe I did that. I didn't mean to do it, I didn't want to do it, but she wouldn't listen to me, she wouldn't believe me, and I just lost control. Now I don't blame her if she doesn't believe me, hell I won't blame her if she leaves me, or if my whole family throws me out. What do I deserve huh? NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, THAT'S WHAT! I can't live like this anymore. I can't live knowing that I make everyone else's lives miserable. That settles it. I'm going home and I'm going to finish this. After tonight this'll be over and, hopefully everyone will just forget about me._

_Goodbye_

_Naoki_

Kotoko turned felt sick to her stomach reading the entry. Now she knew what his problem was. He was depressed; he was losing his touch with everything, and, in return, tried to push everyone he knew away. She was about to put the book down and go look for him when a folded up piece of paper fell out of the book. She picked it up, unfolded it, and what she read turned her pale.

_To my beloved family:_

_If you are reading this, most likely, I'm no longer here. I'm sorry for everything I've done, every mistake I've made, insult I've said, and for every selfish act I've done. Please don't cry for me because I don't deserve your pity, your forgiveness, or your love. All I deserve is to finally die and go to hell where I belong. I hope you are all much better off without me. And Kotoko, if you read this, I just want to let you know that I'm sorry, from the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry. I never meant to harm you. You and Kotomi complete me, even though I don't deserve you or anyone. I'm sorry. I love you._

_Goodbye Forever_

_Naoki_

Kotoko understood what it was: a suicide note. She finally lost it at that point. She started running through the house looking to see if he was there. Just as she ran through the kitchen she grabbed the phone and tried to call her in-laws. Suddenly Machiko (Naoki's mom) walked through the door, she was alone, which, in this case, was a good thing.

"Kotoko" She said

"MAMMA" Kotoko screamed.

"What's wrong, what happened?"

"It's Naoki!"

Machiko knew something was extremely wrong. She never heard her use his first name that often.

"What is it, did he hurt you again?"

"No! He – he – he's TRYING TO KILL HIMSELF!"

Machiko's eyes widened and she turned pale. "What?"

"Please just call the police, we've got to find him."

Kotoko then took off through the house looking for her suicidal husband. A minute later she ended up outside their bedroom door. She tried to open it but it was locked. At that moment she knew he was in there.

"Naoki! Naoki, open this door right now!" She screamed.

There was no response. Wasting no more time she backed up towards the balcony and, using the full force of her small body rammed right into the door, miraculously breaking it open. Finally inside she looked around for him. And directly in front of her, a gun in hand, and a spilled bottle of whiskey at his feet, was a shocked Naoki. The whole time she was home he was in their room, not knowing she was there, drinking and trying to unjam the weapon. Now seeing he was caught he began to panic. Time seemed to slow down as Kotoko looked at him. Physically, aside from his messed up hair, nothing was changed. But she could see more to him than that. Looking into his eyes she couldn't see her husband but a man who has completely lost his mind.

Suddenly, she saw him raising the gun to his head. At that moment, she ran as fast as she could to him. In the nick of time she knocks him back before he could pull the trigger, knocking the gun out of his hand. Both then made an attempt for the gun, struggling over each other on the floor. Naoki tried to get past his wife but she quickly gained the upper hand. Finally she is able to reach the gun. She grabs it and slides it under the bed. He then proceeds to hold her down on the carpet as he tries to get over her. Despite her efforts Naoki finally reaches under the bed and grabs the gun and gets off his wife, who quickly tries to stand up with him.

"GO AWAY! GET BACK! GET BACK! LEAVE ME ALONE!" He shouts pointing the gun to his head.

"NAOKI DON'T DO THIS! It's not worth it!" She tries to tell him, tears already pouring down her face.

"You just don't get it do you?" He explains. "You don't know what it feels like to be me. Look at me I've accomplished all these things. I'm a successful doctor; I got great parents, a great brother, a life of luxury, and, more importantly, a wonderful wife and daughter. I look like I've accomplished everything and I should be happy for it. But you know what I feel like I've accomplished, nothing. I'm not happy, I'm fucking miserable. I look like I can do anything but I can't do anything right!"

Kotoko just stood there crying. She now understood why her husband was always acted like an arrogant ass the whole time they knew each other. He wasn't trying to inflict pain on her, because the only one who in pain was him. All this time, the stress of his attempts to achieve in things, being a great doctor, son, husband, and father, has caused him to lose all his self confidence and the fight last night was the final straw for him. She knew at that point that he was going over the edge and she was the only one who could help bring him back.

"Naoki think about what you're doing. Look, I read you diary. I saw everything that you wrote. If you think I would be happier with someone else, then you're wrong. I love you Naoki everyone does, me, Kotomi, Yuuki, your parents, my dad, everyone. You're not going to help everyone, you're just going to hurt us. You'll kill yourself for nothing. Everyone will blame themselves and each other if you do it. Please, drop the gun, do it for me, do it for everyone who cares about you. Please."

Something inside Naoki just snapped at that point. Tears were falling now. He finally felt like something just gave away, like every emotion he held back had broken loose. Slowly he lowered the gun from his head and dropped onto the floor beside him. Then he just fell to the floor in a crumpled heap, unable to hold back his sobs. Kotoko then got down on the floor, wrapped her arms around him, to which he did the same, and cried along with him.

"Help me." He whispered. "Please, help me."

Machiko just stood at the door and saw the whole thing. Now all she could do was watch her son and daughter in law lay on the floor crying in each other's arms.

Police and paramedics arrived soon and took Naoki to the hospital. Kotoko rode in the back of the ambulance with him, holding his hand the whole way. He just laid there on the stretcher, tears still flowing down his face.

"I'm so sorry." He finally whispers to her. "I didn't mean to hurt you. Please I'm sorry."

"Shh, its ok I know you didn't mean it." She says. "Don't worry about anything, you're going to be fine. We'll get you to the hospital, get you the help you need, and you'll be fine."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being my wife and for being there when I needed you."

"I'm your wife and your my husband, we're supposed to stay by each other to the end."

For the first time in a while Kotoko saw Naoki smile. It was a small one but it warmed her heart.

"Come here." He whispers.

She then comes closer to his face and they both share a small but loving kiss.

"I love you." He says.

"I love you too." She says right back.

Naoki spent a month and a half getting treatment at the psychiatric facility. Despite the shock at the hospital there was no damage to his credibility as a doctor, in fact everyone was happy and congratulated him when he returned. After he was released there was a complete change in him. He let his emotions show more, he spent more time at home with his family, he went out with his friends more often, and he became more affectionate to his wife, eventually leading to three more kids, two boys and another girl. He finally felt a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He now realized that if he told the truth sooner, he would have been better sooner. But it didn't matter now, all he knew was that the truth about his life was out. And he couldn't be happier, because the truth had finally set him free.

**So that's it. I hope you've enjoyed it. I certainly enjoyed writing it. I'm actually planning on a sequel chapter, so be on the lookout.**

**Got to admit though I felt my eyes tear up while writing this. Just to let you know why this: I've seen fanfics that usually make Naoki look like a bad guy. So I decided to switch it up a bit and make Naoki look like the bad guy but in truth he's actually a victim along with Kotoko. So anyways, hope you enjoyed this and I'll see you on the crime story Crossfire, which Naoki and Kotoko will have a part in. Again please leave a review. Later.**


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